Mindsoul’s Weblog

November 2, 2015

What is my “Gift”?

Filed under: Uncategorized — mindsoul @ 8:55 pm

I don’t know about you, but through out my adult life I’ve heard this phrase many times: “Follow your passion”. For as long as I remember I think I’ve struggled with that notion, meaning I always felt I am not living my passion or feeling that I haven’t Untitled-1discovered it yet. It almost felt like I’m in a perpetual state of seeking for something other than what I have or where I was.

I remember in high school years, I was just following the system and trying to make good grades. I didn’t have any help or guidance in trying to notice or discover what I am good at naturally, or what comes effortless to me and makes me feel light and happy when I’m involved in it. My focus was on the outside and meeting the demands of school and parents, and not making waves with my own individual needs and desires and interests.

In university, this same process and mindset continued. I was pretty much felt lost in the first two years of collage, not knowing what I want or what I enjoy, other than surviving socially and making and keeping my friends. School and the subjects of my school demandsclasses where just busy work and frankly a place where I made new friends during the class and group study sessions. Also the competitive aspect of taking those tough math or chemistry or physics classes and trying to get the best grade I could, was a motivating factor to hang in there and make my time count. But there never was a focus or path that felt individual to me or guided me to perceive or feel what it is that I truly am here on this planet to do.

By summer before my junior year at collage, I still felt I’m just flapping in the wind with no real sense of who I am or what I’m good at. Somehow I stumbled on taking an introductory computer programming class that summer. I noticed I’m good at understanding the concepts and I’m good at Computer SCiencedoing the programming assignments. Well, I took a few more computer science classes during my junior and senior years and my natural intuitive understanding of this complicated subject helped me do really well in those classes and graduate with a Bachelor of Science. I then ended up with a good job in the computer industry.

So far it seems I got lucky to have found a vocation that was in high demand and paid well. I was performing well at my work assignments and over the years got promoted, mostly due to my competitive nature and a perfectionist attitude which in retrospect I don’t believe it was driven internally but was a way of getting noticed and gain approval from the outside.

My run in the computer industry lasted almost 19 years until the software industry completely crashed in a meltdown that started in the year 2000. That gave me the motivation to look in another direction and start my own business and take a crack at entrepreneurship which has lasted until today.

When I look back at my years as software developer, I recall for the majority of the time I was programming, I had a feeling of isolation and mild depression. I was really content that I was making a living and was self supportive, but if I was sensitive to my emotional guidance system,Emotional desert I would have noticed this career is not fulfilling me spiritually or giving me a sense of satisfaction and happiness.

Nonetheless, all that experience and emotional desert I felt I’m in, has brought me to a point where I am now. I like to finally experience and find a way to actualize the notion that we are all born with a gift and our mission is to express that gift in this world and therefore bring our gift to the table of evolution and growth of our planet and humanity.

But how? Where do I start? What am I looking for?  What does my ‘gift’ look like? How to do I recognize my ‘gift’?  Well I think I Who Am Ihave some ideas now about that! What I’m going to write about makes sense to me, but I am not sure how it will sit with you. Feel free to let me know your feedback in the comments section.

In my opinion, the answers to all the above questions I just asked in the previous paragraph, are already available inside, in the form of our ‘Feelings and Needs’.  Meaning, our true identity and our unique gift which is like our spiritual and psychological fingerprint, are reflected in our own deep and innate needs and feelings, which are unique to us. Our environment, our upbringing, our schooling, our relationships, may not have really helped us keep our focus on who we are inside. Instead we may have been programmed to neglect our true unique individuality, our own deep and unique individual ‘Feelings and Needs’ in order to fit into the mold of society and it’s demands on everyone to follow a sociopolitical system. The pressure to fit in and not cause waves can be felt from very early moments of our life and childhosuppressed-emotions-and-your-healthod and home life, all the way through the school system and finally our financial and social survival as adults.

If we were refused love and nourishment as children when we attempted to express our own unique feelings and needs, well then over time, such connection to our true self would fade away from our conscious mind and seep deep into layers of our subconscious for the rest of our life. And with that, slips away our chances of expressing and living our own unique and personal spiritual gift we were born with. Rediscovering our now deep subconscious feelings and needs, are in my opinion, the path of living our authentic self, moment to moment.

Earlier I put Feelings and Needs in quote because I have found there exists well established methodologies that have been developed to help usSETI satellite dish discover what are our feelings and needs are at any moment. This connection with our inner self may at the beginning seems like a faint distant signal coming through an old shortwave radio. Have you seen those big radio satellite dishes used by SETI to detect any sign of extraterrestrial intelligence? Well hopefully we may receive signal from our inner self a little easier, and as we move towards that signal by recognizing and acknowledging our true feelings and needs, the signal gets stronger and stronger over time until it’s a clear and loud channel, where at any moment we can sense who we are inside, independent of all the noise and distraction of the environment and society at large.

I have started to use Feelings and Needs cards that are available at various web sites such as NVC. Nonviolent NVCCommunication (NVC) is a process of communication, developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg that is based on compassion, authenticity, and courage. Also sometimes known as Compassionate Communication. For example this link is to a list of feelings and needs shown on the website called Center for Nonviolent Communication. Here’s another link to a PDF file so you can download and print the list of feelings and needs for reference.

Another process that has incorporated the consciousness of feelings and needs, is called the Connection Practice, developed by Rasur Foundation International. According to their website, The Connection Practice teaches a skill that unites your empathy and insight for accelerated growth. Empathy is attained through a conscious connection to feelings and needs, and insight is accessed through heart-brain coherence.

Connection Practice teaches us to first go into our heart with coherence, and then use the cards to reflect what we are needing and feeling at the moment.  we almost have to enter a meditative state so that the outer noise level is reduced allowing us to hear the message from inside about what our true feelings and needs are. They Inner gifthave an online store that supplies the Feelings and Needs cards, which is where I purchase my cards.

These words have made a huge impact on my view of life: “The one who knows others is wise. The one who knows himself/herself is enlightened!”.  I think knowing ourselves is required for understanding our “unique Gift”. And consciousness of our innate feelings and needs is the key to that understanding of ourselves and our unique offering to the world.

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